Personal Stories

Be grateful for food allergies?

by on March 11th, 2013

“Everyone’s got their issues.  Be thankful food allergies are all you have.  If that’s the worst thing in your life, we’re really lucky.”

This is what I often tell my kids.  I don’t want them feeling sorry for themselves and on some level I don’t think they really have the “right” to.  They understand.  They accept that having food allergies is a challenge, but it is what it is… and it could be a lot worse.

Some of you may not agree.  My 3 kids’ food allergies – peanuts, tree nuts (2), dairy (2), egg, and sesame – seem much more manageable than what I know many of you deal with.  For some, the list of allergens is much longer, the dining much more restrictive (corn, soy, other less well-known allergens, etc.), and/or the allergy sensitivity much more severe (inhalation, etc.).  So in no way do I want to minimize how difficult the daily food allergy challenges are for many families, nor do I want to diminish the feelings of ANYONE dealing with food allergies – we all cope differently.  However, every now and then I see something that makes me believe even more strongly that my kids are in fact lucky.

It seems that almost every child I know or come across these days has some issue (actually, that’s not just reserved for children).  There are those with significant maladies better known to the general public like juvenile diabetes, leukemia and other cancers, autism, and more.  There are those with very challenging “hidden” diseases like various forms of mental illness and I’d even include distressing or dangerous family dynamics, etc.  And there seem to be more and more children growing up with less well-known and rare issues – some that are quite severe, lifelong, affect very few people and very little research dollars.  I have come across a disturbing number of children suffering in this last category.

So in light of all that, yes, I feel my children are lucky.

I was given another reminder the other day from a member of our very own food allergy community.  Last Tuesday – March 5 – I shared on the AllergyEats Facebook page a Wall Street Journal article entitled “Food Allergy Advice for Parents: Start Peanuts, Eggs and More Sooner.”  Now, I won’t go into my thoughts on the content of that article here (go to the Facebook page to see more), but one of the reader comments really struck me and filled me with compassion, sadness, and optimism – all in 5 simple sentences.  Let me share the comment from Susan Callahan here:

 

As a 70-yr-old with a life-long peanut allergy, I feel I have come from prehistoric times into a new world of allergy awareness and knowledge.  In my childhood I was ridiculed in school and my parents took me to my family doctor who did not know how to help.  Somehow I survived without epipens and coping skills almost with just sheer instinct and luck.  I wished I had lived more fully, traveled without fear and taken more opportunities in life.  I say to today’s parents give your food-allergic child coping skills and the information to fly like a bird (with an epi under his/her wing).

 

My children are tremendously lucky by comparison.  The world is obviously more knowledgeable about food allergies.  We also have the benefit of a life saving medication at our fingertips that can be self-administered or administered by millions of trained non-food allergic individuals.

“I wished I had lived more fully, traveled without fear and taken more opportunities in life.”

Words my children will never have to say because of their food allergies.

I wish I could thank Susan Callahan for this touching reminder of how thankful my family should be.  I hope many of you agree.  And my deepest compassion goes out to those whose daily food allergy challenges are just too overwhelming to feel the same.  Please try to be encouraged by the tremendous research taking place to help desensitize, if not cure, our kids and our community.

I’d love to hear your thoughts.  Please share them in the Reply box below.

Please also remember to share every one of your dining experiences on the core AllergyEats site or (free) smartphone app.  This is a great way to help our entire food allergy and intolerance community.  Just 1 minute and 3 multiple-choice answers is all it takes to review a restaurant and make AllergyEats a more valuable tool for all of us.

Comments

    Author:
    Shelly
    Written:


    Although I have a child with peanut allergy and asthma, I am always reminded of how lucky I am when we go for a checkup at a major university hospital. I felt I had it bad until I saw people who would love to have something with their children who can be reasonably controlled. It is truly amazing for a person to have survived without Epi-pens when they are so much an essential part of our lives. I try to teach my children that life can go on normally, even with a food allergy. We eat out, travel, and try new things, all the way hanging onto our emergency kit.

    Author:
    Scotty
    Written:


    I so totally agree with you. My husband has said a few times, “I don’t mean I’m GLAD you have food issues….it’s not fun to deal with. BUT, I have to say your issues have helped the rest of us probably live longer and healthier.” He goes on to say that because of my gluten issues, we don’t do fast-food anymore and eating out is a real treat now and then, not all the time. My grocery shopping has changed with very little processed items and we’ve been getting our meat from a local farmer, not meat from the chains that have become common-place to need recalls and questionable practices. All because of my “food issues”. We may need to look hard to find silver linings, but often it’a a glaring spotlight if we just get our focus off ourselves and look around a little.

    Author:
    Chris Pariseau
    Written:


    My son has Eosinophilic Esophagitis and when I tell people that he ONLY has to avoid wheat and dairy, they are appalled that he has such a restrictive diet. When I go into more detail how we are grateful he is not in constant pain, on a feeding tube, formula supplement (or diet), that he doesn’t need to be scoped every few months to see if there are foods still affecting him…the list goes on. My son once told me that he refuses to have this disease define him. It may be a part of him, but it is not him. Overall, he is healthy, in great shape and has used it as a springboard to maintain a lifestyle most of us need to adopt (me included). We eat better, I cook more (even though I hate cooking) and it has encouraged us to explore food from different cultures that we may have not tried normally.

    Author:
    jk
    Written:


    My allergies are not life-threatening, but when I tell people I don’t do dairy or gluten, their first reaction is “pity”. I just respond that I’m lucky to live in an era where there are so many options and that I concentrate on what I CAN eat – which, to me, is almost everything. I also have skin allergies (formaldehyde) but there, too, there are many safe products. I, also, am aware of those who have more serious health (mental or physical) issues, but I have come to the conclusion that, perhaps it’s not “us” there’s something wrong with but that we are an indicator of potetential toxins for everyone …. 😉

    Author:
    M verri
    Written:


    This is fantastic and I agree with you 100%. Every time we enter a children’s hospital I am reminded that we are not there for long term care. Sure we bave other things going on besides food allergies, but nothing life- threatening. We see people every day and do not know what they struggle with internally. I get emotional seeing disabled children my son goes to school with because I know they may not be on this earth as long as they should be. And what they will endure can’t be compared to a food allergy…but their daily struggle must be admired. I believe God gives us what we can handle.. Am I scared at times, of course. Do I as a mom have more anxiety because my 2 children live with severe food allergies, absolutely. I think we are better people because if it and in turn made us even more compassionate human beings.

    Author:
    M verri
    Written:


    This is fantastic and I agree with you 100%. Every time we enter a children’s hospital I am reminded that we are not there for long term care. Sure we have other things going on besides food allergies, but nothing life- threatening. We see people every day and do not know what they struggle with internally. I get emotional seeing disabled children my son goes to school with because I know they may not be on this earth as long as they should be. And what they will endure can’t be compared to a food allergy…but their daily struggle must be admired. I believe God gives us what we can handle.. Am I scared at times, of course. Do I as a mom have more anxiety because my 2 children live with severe food allergies, absolutely. I think we are better people because if it and in turn made us even more compassionate human beings.

    Author:
    Kim
    Written:


    I have four boys, two with multiple, life threatening allergies and two with no allergies. When I found out that my fourth son had food allergies, I burst into tears. I didn’t think my heart could handle double the worry. I had an “a-ha” moment when my husband said to me “God picked us to be the perfect family for Liam because we have been through this already with his older brother, we know what we are doing now. It’s only food.” It’s only food, indeed, and I am grateful for that.

    Author:
    Shellie
    Written:


    Ever since my daughter was diagnosed with multiple food allergies at the age of 1 (she’s now 7) we’ve tried to create teachable moments to help her cope. We’ve used her allergies to help her not only avoid allergens while reading labels, but also so really understand what’s in the food in general that she puts into her body. We look out for her allergens as well as preservative and food coloring to talk about healthy eating. We should all take the time to read labels whether we have allergies or not! When she goes to a party and has to bring her own food or I have to go ahead of time to read labels we’ve tried to teach her that it’s okay to be different, that, in fact, being different can be a good thing. We all have something that makes us special or different and we shouldn’t feel embarrassed or feel like we have to hide our differences. And hopefully having food allergies has given her more compassion. She knows what it feels like to be judged and how that can hurt, so perhaps she will be less likely to judge others. So, yes, I fully agree that having food allergies has been a blessing in disguise!

    Author:
    MC
    Written:


    I, too, felt sorry for my kids’ food allergy challenges until one day, I was at a fancy banquet at a work-related conference. While I and the other guests feasted on beef bourgignone and duck ala’orange and the wine flowed, I notice an Orthodox Jew eating his own bag of trail mix because the food wasn’t Kosher. Then I realize there are millions of people who for religious/philosophical reasons have to deal with their own food restrictions on a daily basis. It can be done and they enjoy life fully too.

    Author:
    Kelly
    Written:


    Our son has multiple FA (diagnosed at 9 mo) and then at 4 yrs. was diagnosed w/ ALL (acute lymphoblastic leukemia). He is now 6, w/ 1 more yr. of chemo. Although most research shows a negative relationship b/w FA and leukemia (i.e. a child with FA is less likely to be diagnosed with leukemia), for whatever reason it happened to us. Because of the FA, we always read labels, eaten organic when available, chosen “real foods” over processed alternatives, and stayed out of restaurants. Multiple FA forced our family to become more educated and aware of what goes in our bodies. Ironically, upon his diagnosis, he was pumped full of chemicals that made me cringe, and still takes meds that have the possibility of causing long term side effects. But I have to think that the foods he eats have offered more benefit than if he would have been eating highly processed, artificial foods. Because of the FA and cancer, we live our life differently than others. We see food differently, and therefore eat differently than most families. I cook vegetarian. We homeschool. And as I witness my son in stores reaading labels, listen to him talking with others from everything from nutrition and cancer to geography, grammar, composers, and history, I think to myself, that we have a smart, funny and strong little boy who makes us grateful for everything we have.

    Author:
    MelissaS
    Written:


    How scary to grow up with food allergies at a time when they were not recognized! I am thankful for the awareness surrounding my son’s dairy and egg allergies, and the doctors who treat him. He goes to a sleep-away camp for a week in the summer, and at check-in the kids line up to go over meds with the nursing staff. The staff give campers a 2-gallon ziploc bag for meds, and some kids’ bags are stuffed full. My son has only benadryl and his epi-pens. We realize his allergies are serious, but to us they are more inconvenience at this stage than major medical issue. We are lucky!

    Author:
    Janelle
    Written:


    I always say things could be worse. All I need to do for my peanut/tree-nut allergic daughter is carry an epi-pen, read food labels, and avoid a few restaurants. Although it still aggravates me when parents of other kids in my daughter’s class send their kids to school with peanut butter, at least I’m not suffering from their ignorance, and I still manage to keep my daughter safe.

    Author:
    Valerie
    Written:


    I thank God for my diagnosis of Celiac Disease. I have never lived healthier in my life since avoiding gluten. I Became a runner last year at age 58 and ran my first 1/2 marathon last fall. Something I couldn’t do years ago.

    Author:
    Lucy
    Written:


    Agreed! I am a speech therapist and I work with children that have disabilities. My kiddos with Down syndrome and with cognitive delays are some of the sweetest and they love life and have such an innocence about them. But they do certainly have their struggles. My sons multiple food allergies and asthma are a challenge but we definitely consider ourselves lucky to have an otherwise healthy child. Hopefully the rest of the world will eventually catch up to understanding but until then we will fight the good fight.

    Author:
    Kim Hopkins
    Written:


    I was diagnosed last year with EEOG due to a dairy allergy I never realized I had till then. Life this past year has been a learning one for me, I however feel kids are more resilient than us as adults, they just roll with it & move on. As an adult trying to find healthy foods to do my favorite recipes, or the substitutions has been my biggest challenge, I still eat out on an occasion, not as often as before, I’m just really disappointed that more restaurants are not supportive

    Author:
    Amy Tracy
    Written:


    My first son was born three months early and faced severe complications for many years. I am grateful every day that all we have to cope with are a few food allergies! Could have been much, much worse.

    Author:
    Marina Hsieh
    Written:


    And perhaps because he is grateful for what he can eat, my child eats practically every kind of food that doesn’t contain his allergens (dairy, egg, peanut, tree nut, var. shellfish). I don’t know how many times I’ve watched him eat healthy, well-balanced meals with greens and whole grains and meat or tofu while his friends who CAN eat everything stick to their hundredth straight meal of “nuggets” and poptarts. I don’t mean to be flip, but I see the silver lining every time I’m at a birthday party and read the label on the bag of some disgusting processed “food” item that is surely unhealthy. I can say with absolutely no argument from him, “sorry, honey, that’s not safe, how about an apple instead?”

    Author:
    Debi Tucker
    Written:


    When my daughter was first diagnosed with her food allergies I felt like the world came crashing down around me. After a year or so of getting the hang of this food allergy business I looked around….and saw us as a family eating together at almost every meal, each meal made thoughtfully, less processed crap, my husband and I were feeling better because we were nourishing our bodies with REAL food, and our daughter’s diet was far more healthier than that of her peers…well, I thought just how damn lucky we all were. We all have benefited from her food allergy diagnosis, and I will be forever grateful for our new relationship with food.

    Author:
    A. Anderson
    Written:


    Yes–I agree. I just wrote a similar blog entry. It was so hard nine years ago, but now we’ve fully accepted it. Even my ten year old, who says, “I like my allergies.” Wow. http://www.flourishingwithfoodallergies.com/blog/

    Author:
    C Murphy
    Written:


    I was not diagnosed with life-threatening food allergies and other allergies: avocado, bananas, kiwi, latex, peanuts, and tree nuts, until adulthood. I always knew that something was “abnormal” and it wasn’t until age 28 that my allergies were diagnosed. The doctors tested me for any and everything and they always told me that they knew that something was up and eventually we would get to the bottom of things. As a child, due to my autism, I had difficulty describing how I was feeling because I would constantly tell my parents I didn’t feel good and they would take me to the doctor, but they were never able to put their fingers on what was going on, until now when my allergies really began to present themselves. I agree with everybody that what ever struggles we are presented with in life, we are presented them for a reason. I surely believe that the hardships we are dealt with in life make us all the more stronger and resilient.

Leave a Reply