Personal Stories

Great lesson for my kids (and maybe yours)

by on February 3rd, 2012

Readers of the AllergyEats Blog know that I recently finished a 3-day weekend with my 2 food-allergic boys (peanut and tree nut / peanut, tree nut, dairy, egg and sesame) and my father to Toronto and Montreal.  I wrote a piece in this blog on the “Big 8” allergen-free restaurant, Zero8, in Montreal (Zero8 Resto-Bar, free of ALL “Big 8” allergens… and then some!).

On this same trip, however, we had what many would consider a negative experience – though I saw it as a great training opportunity.

We were in a food court and my youngest son wanted a little food to hold him over until dinner.  He asked for french fries from Burger King.  We’ve never had problems with fries from BK before, so I agreed.  Of course, as always, I asked the question.  “Do you use peanut oil to cook the fries?”

Blankish look, before a hesitant side-to-side shake of the head.

“Are you sure?  My son has a severe food allergy?”

Affirmative nod of the head, but not very encouraging.

Finally, I asked the key question.  “What kind of oil do you use?”

He goes back to the cooking area for 15 seconds or so, then comes back shaking his head side-to-side.  I said “Peanut oil?” and he says “yeah.”

Wow.

On the one hand, you might think “bullet dodged”… that was my first reaction.  Though a close second was “I bet they don’t actually use peanut oil – they were just too lazy to check, or were scared, or just plain clueless.”  Either way, I’m glad we had that conversation in front of my boys and then of course walked away.

I used this simple encounter to point out a few important lessons to them.

Lesson 1:  Most of us know this one.  A “deer in the headlights look” and non-committal response is a HUGE yellow flag. For some, that’s enough to leave the restaurant; generally, however, that indicates to me that I need to know more and ask someone else.  I like the fact that my sons saw me press until I got an answer that gave me a definitive ‘yes’ or ‘no.’  Even though I told them that I still wondered if that BK used peanut oil, they saw that a little doubt is too much doubt, and there are simply many other options – so take one!

Lesson 2:  I like this lesson the most because it isn’t often discussed in articles about what to do when dining out.  This lesson was about how to “interrogate” the server. After he hesitantly indicated that the fries were not cooked in peanut oil, rather than me asking “Are they cooked in canola oil?” or “Are they cooked in vegetable oil?”, etc., I asked an open-ended question designed to force him to go get an answer. I simply asked “What kind of oil do you use?”  By not asking a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ question, he can’t give a lazy response designed to keep me happy.  And lo and behold, what happened?  He went to get information that turned out to be incredibly critical to us.  Again, you don’t see this kind of tip in most dining out articles (including ones I’ve written – I’ve got to start correcting that!), so please keep it in mind as a great strategy.

Lesson 3:  When in doubt, walk away.

Again, whether or not BK cooks their fries differently in Montreal than in Boston is irrelevant.  I still don’t know for sure, but I don’t need to.  The important thing is that I got enough information to know it was smartest to walk away.

As an aside, I decided not to give the server a long, angry lecture on how dangerous his answers were.  Maybe I should have as a “duty” to our community.  Sometimes that mood strikes me, but sometimes I just want to move on.  I think the choice of whether to do that or not is a personal one and I would never discourage either reaction.

So what do you think?  How would you have reacted?  What would you have done the same or differently?  Are these lessons useful and valuable?  Would you have been happy as I was that my kids were able to see and learn from this encounter?  And by the way, does anyone know if Montreal Burger Kings use peanut oil?  Please share your thoughts with us!  Click Comments or Reply below.

Since AllergyEats is still only U.S. based, I can’t rate this experience.  However, YOU can rate all of your restaurant experiences – positive or negative – on our core AllergyEats site at www.allergyeats.com or our mobile app for iPhone and Android.  Rating a restaurant is a very simple process that just takes a minute, but helps our entire food allergy and intolerance community by making AllergyEats a more valuable tool for everyone. (And don’t forget to rate your Disney World experiences on AllergyEats Disney World as well!)

Comments

    Author:
    Belinda
    Written:


    We also walk away from the ‘deer in the headlights’ look now.
    We had a similar experience that resulted in a reaction a few months ago when my son (8) was out with his grandmother and went to our favorite ice cream shop where they have always been so careful. He stated his allergy (egg), and asked if a flavor was okay to try, and the woman gave him a sample spoon of it. He then said he liked it and asked for a bowl of it. When she handed the bowl to him he asked again ‘Are you sure this doesn’t have egg in it?’ at which point (according to my mother-in-law) the woman looked at him like he had two heads. She shrugged, and said she did not know. My son handed the bowl back and said he didn’t want it, thank you.

    Unfortunately, he still had a reaction and had to have epi-pen and ambulance and 4 hrs observation at the hospital. BUT THANK GOODNESS HE GAVE THE BOWL BACK! I cannot bear to think what would have happened if he’d had more than that tester spoon.

    The lesson we took away from this was: no matter how safe a place has been for you, you have to be on your guard every time. A new employee with a bad attitude and language issues is all it takes to have a bad experience. The irony in all of this is that the two regular employees were in Boston attending a Safe Scoops food allergy training course. The new girl hadn’t been properly trained yet, and after meeting her the next day myself I can attest to her indifference and really consider the whole thing to be a result of laziness/aloofness and perhaps language issues.

    Author:
    Kathy Alexander
    Written:


    We had the exact same thing happen to us at a McDonalds in Maryland. We live in NJ but were visiting friends. The manager told us they used peanut oil to fry the french fries. Of course we walked out. I emailed McDonalds’ corporate office and received a reply that McDonalds does not use peanut oil. I don’t know if that McDonalds was not following franchise rules or if that manager was just an idiot but it was a good reminder to us to always ask.

    Author:
    Andrea
    Written:


    All good reminders – thanks! Especially the “deer the headlights” look!

    Both my sons have allergies to tree nuts & peanuts, and one of them to seeds to boot.

    We have been advised by our allergists that things cooked in refined peanut oil were fine. Fast food places use refined peanut oil (it’s cheaper than the cold pressed version). Sesame seed oil is not okay because of the way it’s processed.

    Erring on the side of caution is best, I agree, especially in a “foreign” place. You might want to clarify the peanut oil question though with your allergist.

    Author:
    Heidi
    Written:


    We had a similar experience when trying a new pizza buffet in town. I downloaded the chain’s allergen chart and double checked with the kitchen guy about which crusts were safe for an egg allergy. I got the same deer in the headlights look when I asked about egg in the traditional crust as the allergen chart stated there was. He said he had no idea if there was egg. He then went to ask the manager who looked pretty annoyed by the interruption, who said without hesitation “nope, no egg.” I still wasn’t getting real good vibes about the situation, so I explained this was a serious allergy – life threatening. At that point the guy behind the counter flippantly said “I could let you read the ingredients yourself if that would make you feel better” to which I replied “That would be great!” Not the answer he expected, but he complied. After reading the ingredients and confirming no egg was in the dough mix we felt comfortable eating there and had a safe experience. But I put a lot of weight on my gut feelings and definitely agree that you need to press the issue till you are comfortable with the level of response you get.

    Author:
    Kacie
    Written:


    FANTASTIC lessons, especially for young kids because sometimes they don’t “get” it yet. Thanks for sharing your experiences.

    Author:
    Shelly
    Written:


    I would have done exactly what you did. When you get the confused look unless you can get someone with more knowledge, it is so much safer to walk away. I loved the idea of asking open ended questions. I know that I always ask the server, but honestly don’t remember HOW I ask. I live in a small area and it is such a treat to go to a city where they are so much better Informed and used to deal with food allergies.

    Author:
    wanda
    Written:


    I have been known to ask to see the container (of oil, juice consentrait, salad dressing-whatever) to make sure that what I am being told is accurate. If they are unwilling to show me I walk away. BTW most places offer to show me before I get a chance to ask.

    Author:
    lulu
    Written:


    I love the advice of asking open ended questions instead of yes or no, or giving them the answer you want to hear. We often encounter employees who seem not to be giving us a straight answer, and we always just walk away. I also think it’s great advice to ask to see the container so you can read the label yourself if at all possible. We had a family restaurant we had frequented several times with friendly waitstaff who seemed concerned about our son’s dairy and egg allergies and knew our family. They assured us a certain pasta was egg free, and he had eaten pasta there before in the past with no problem. On one occasion, he spent the night throwing up after we ate there, but at the time, we didn’t connect the dots and didn’t think there was a food allergy connection. The next time we ate there, we did ask to see the pasta packaging, and low and behold, its allergen label clearly stated that it was made on equipment that might also process eggs. In spite of his allergy and well-intentioned employees who read the labels, the untrained staff thought it wasn’t important to mention that to us.

    Author:
    michele
    Written:


    The bottom line is if you are not assured that the food you are about to eat is safe, walk away. Having a family restaurant while growing up, I understand it on both sides. We once stopped at a restaurant to get a pizza but while we waited to order I scanned the menu and found that they had peanut and butter pizza! I am sure if we were getting a pizza to go and asked only about the ingredients in a cheese pizza it may have never come up. The whole oven was contaminated and my son who is allergic to peanuts would have had a very serious reaction. My experience with restaurants are that if they do not know or are uncomfortable with food allergies will just say they use peanut oil even if they don’t but there is nothing you can do but walk away, which is a good message to children.
    You have to ask each time and when in doubt don’t do it, it is not worth the chance. The comment about peanut oil is correct, only peanut oil which is cold pressed has peanut protein and although most restaurants don’t use cold pressed peanut oil because of the cost, they would have a hard time knowing how the oil is processed. Just avoid it no matter how it is processed

    Author:
    Julie Trone
    Written:


    When it comes to ‘fast food’ I believe talking with the manager on the spot can be helpful and checking the order immediately. Once my son ordered 4 plain meat patties from a fast food restaurant and they came back with cheese in between. When I asked for a new order without cheese I explained that taking off the cheese would cause my son to become sick due to his dairy allergy. The information did not get to the cook and lo and behold we received the same meat patties sans cheese so back again we went to explain and finally we received the right order. Checking the order helped since there was a communication break down. Open ended questions are an awesome addition…I liked your story very much.

    Author:
    Laurie Gauguin
    Written:


    Thanks for this post! Excellent advice. Having worked in several professional kitchens, I can tell you that not all employees understand the severity of food allergies or the risk of cross-contamination. Asking open-ended questions will get you the answer you need.

    Author:
    Jeni Cameron
    Written:


    I am actually just learning that many McDs and BK restaurants in the south do, indeed, you peanut oil!!! There is NO indication of this practice on either website. I have just written to both companies to let them know that they need to indicate there may be peanut oil used in some restaurants! I think all of us in the community should do this. I find it completely irresponsible to have an allergen menu online that we rely on and then not adhere to it!!

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